Day 8

Day 8

Well hell, here is one way to start off for today, with the loudest possible FUCK anyone could ever hear.  As the time has drawn closer that my bills steadily approach me, I wait patiently for the tiger hiding behind the shrub, waiting patiently to pounce on me, although instead of clawing out my insides this tiger decides I wishes to torture me in the greatest way it sees fit, letting me live. Only he scratches  me once to send a jolt of pain through my body. As imaginary and make believe this might sound, this tiger jumps at me about 100 times a day. Although, in the real world its called Time. The tide draws closer and still I haven’t a decent job or income. Why even fantasize about my dreams and goals when I wont even make it to the end of the month without ruining my own credit ? no clue internet. Who the heck is even reading this? I am sure all of you stopped caring by now and I don’t blame you, hell I don’t either sadly this is supposed to generate revenue and allow me to vent. Well as of right now I say fuck the contract. GoodNight Internet. 

day 7 A New Slightly Sharpened Leaf

Day 7

So where do we start today? Not quite sure, I just know its ending with a flask in my hand and eventually with me knocked out somewhere. Well…not really. We can improve on that. Today started off nice and simple as well, ive got some good news internet!!! My loan was deferred for a short period due to my unemployment and from the looks of it I am going to be getting unemployment insurance so that’s another plus. Bad news is, I still owe 300 dollars to wells fargo, and all my bills still need to get paid and god knows how long that check will take to arrive. As for now, I have two options. Assuming I get the cash from unemployment, I take it and look for work, or I work my ass off staying at home and developing a portfolio so I can find work with my AA. I am at a bit of a junction here. I owe my sister a lot, she has given me and my girlfriend so much and not even asked for so much as a thank you, so the first option makes sense. To look for work aggressively while on unemployment insurance. However, whatever I find will not pay what something with my AA will pay for, however it will give me money I can give her. However, if I chose the second option I will stay down and only make as much as unemployment allows me to make, however, I will be able to work on my graphic design to create a portfolio which will allow me to get a job in my field which will pay me better. Which way do I go internet? Guess ill find out, after all it leads to my final goal. To make a company. 

day 6

Day 6

Well lets start this off with an apology, I am sorry for not posting for a couple of days and its okay I guess since my according to my terms I am allowed to miss in terms of emergency. So what was the emergency ? nothing huge I am not dead. However, the internet did manage to die on me for 2 whole days and I couldn’t do anything about it. Its back today and here I am again writing away what floats in the mind. Actually, its about work. So I managed to forward 300 dollars into my account to pay for termination fees for att, however, I now have 35 days to pay back those 300 dollars. So thus begins a new problem. Yesterday me and my beloved spent some quality time together for the first time in quite a while. We live here in Corona, and that being said we are surrounded by a couple of mountains. Well hills really. They are only a couple hundred feet in the air, which is an hour or so of hiking up almost vertical trails with rocks, bushes and snakes. Once we got to the top there was a cross with a mans name written. I know its one thing to talk about the dead, but to write about them I do not do, so I wont. After we got to the top and stared at hundreds of lizards we made our ways down and back home. Yesterday I didn’t apply anywhere simply because I didn’t have anywhere to apply since my internet was down. Today It come on roughly a couple hours ago and being that it is late I am not sure if I will then. So lets talk about something else here, I spend my time wishing for the better and trying to make it happen. I wish to one day be the owner of a company that creates and distributes internet based entertainment media. I am not sure how to do that? I got myself to thinking about the lottery and I wondered even if I were to win how would I go about founding a company? That’s the tough part. I know I would have to work on the machinima series first. That would take some time, writing the script, recording audio and then machinimating, recording, editing, and producing to even publishing it. Its a lot of work, yet I know If I were to come up on such a bankroll as the lottery it wouldn’t matter since I would work for a company anymore and money wouldn’t be an option I would be able to stay home and write my little life away and work with my friends whom which compose Team Vindex. Which, when I found the company they would be my first employees. Now I don’t want to make a company and hire my friends because they are my friends. I have several friends I wouldn’t hire, however the ones I do want to hire are ones that want to work with me and create this series. However the problem is I don’t think I will ever win the lottery, so there is no point in fantasizing in it. How do I get started internet? I know I need a job, who wants to give me a hand or idea on step two. 

Day 5 it will all collapse

 Day 5

                So, not much to say about today, I have been very frustrated throughout the entire day however. I am currently living with my sister here in corona and she wanted to get time warner internet, so which I warned stating it wasn’t such a good idea. Well after the first day I thought everything was all well and good. However I was soon proven wrong…err…correct I guess. The internet started cutting out several times. I suspected it was the router so we called time warner. The net would still work every now and then its just it would cut out or it would have dns problems so I couldn’t see the web page. Today they came in and replaced the box with an older model from netgear. They stated this would work since they have had problems with the other. Perfect I thought, If they had problems with the newer model WHY EVEN PUT IT IN!  the tech leaves and I think to myself all Is good. Wrong. Nothing changed, in fact it got worse because instead of cutting out, it just doesn’t start. After spending time on the phone with the worse customer service representatives I then got a tech to come out here tomorrow. So we will see how good that goes. This I know is irrelevant to my goal, however to find work I require the internet, so this becomes a priority. The other thing that is bothering me is the idea that I am still getting closer to my debt due dates, and still I haven’t a penny. What next? Well tonight is lottery night so hopefully things get better. We will find out. I cross my fingers and pray we win some kind of cash, please whomever is hearing this, I am begging you to give me a hand. Stay tuned internet.

day 4 The Situation Grows Dire

10/31/2011

Day 4

Hey there internet, sorry for the late post however I have been quite busy. I didn’t state before that weekends I would not be posting because weekends are my days off and usually nothing happens. Although this weekend was rather interesting. I spent more time with my friends Kenny and Brian. It was a blessing to see them as they always put a smile on my face, and since Brian will be leaving for Colorado this week and I will not be seeing him again. I truly am happy for him, he has succeeded and is very lucky to have the family he has as he is moving with his parents and has a high paying job waiting for him. One with a salary that pays more than the owner of the factory we both worked for, Jbs and Swift. I truly am happy that I got to see him once more, and I cannot wait to see him once more. I give him all my blessings and wish him the best, although by what he describes he won’t be needing it. He has what I can only wish for and for that I can only say “bravo mate” may your journey be great. Now I know damn well you didn’t come here to hear me talk about my friend so ill get on with it. It appears that my situation has only grown more dire. I am without work still, and worse the deadline on my bills grows ever closer. I have a 265 dollar payment due to sallie mae (the company who “blessed” me with my school loans) as well as a 50  dollar bill due to Dell, the company I bought my laptop which I needed for school. Amongst that, I have insurance that needs to be paid on my car as well as my cell phone that I need for job applications. So as you see these are not bills that I raked in from pure selfish want and greed. These are bills I that I was required to have in order to attempt at success in life. As if that wasn’t great I also just got a 220 dollar bill from my former cell provider stating that it’s all for cancellation fees. This one angers me. Simply because I moved to a new carrier due to its lower cost, I did so only after speaking to a desk representative at the att store where I have received false information before (fool me twice…shame on me). I was told that I was free to cancel my cell and my girlfriend’s cell to move to a new carrier at no charge since our contracts were up and were due for upgrades anyway. This came to a surprise to me when I was told by the gentleman over the phone that in fact our phones were due for upgrades but our contracts were not yet up. Had I knew this situation I would not have cancelled however, I was given false information and now I have to pay the price? Approximately 220 dollars 19 cents. That means in less than 7 days I need to come up with roughly 650 some off dollars. Even if I was still employed at my formal job this would be hard. However, here I am with no job and no money. If there is a god he surely has a sense of humor. I do not feel bad or wronged with the information I received from college ( although It was less than what the internet taught me, thank you Westwood college online) however, I strongly urge and recommend that if you are planning on going to college, take it from me…don’t. At my former employer I saw people who had less than I did and didn’t even finish high school and made more money than me per hour. Add that to the fact that they didn’t have to pay 250 a month for school loans and now they made that much more than me. You’re better off working at your job for ten years and reaching a high up position to succeed than you are going to college, why? Because you will make more per hour and will not have paid 80000 dollars in school loans. Where does this leave me in my dream? My goal? Well who knows? At this point even the sword seems mightier than the pen, and friendlier. However, I will not quit that easily. I will do what it takes to achieve my success and I will do it proudly. I don’t care what stands ahead internet I will succeed, I have to. I promised my love that I would and if not for me it’s for her that I put everything on the line. As she lays next to me right now sleeping, I realize even more that she is the most beautiful thing that has ever come into my life and it is not she that should be privileged to be my lover as she states but it is I, for anyone she chose could have given her more she still sticks with me. I love you Evelyn, although you will never read this I want the internet to know, I love you and I will keep my promise. I will make it through this. I will succeed.  For you. 

Day 3

10/27/2011

Day 3

                Well sorry to cut this one short, however I am short on time since I have to fill out paperwork for unemployment. Today I found out that westwood college online, has screwed me over YET AGAIN!. This time around they let me start school, get 3 weeks into the term then make me apply for financial aid? That just doesn’t sound right. Long story short I got declined and I then had to drop my classes due to them making me do all this work and not having my financial package done ( usually you do this within two weeks prior to starting the term but they wanted to be different). I got dropped, and now im forced to send back my books and PAY for them since I opened them due to the fact that I am in the third week of my term. NO **** im going to open my books! The term started !!!! what the hell. Anywho, I applied for unemployment since that Is now my only means of deferring my payments and generating revenue. Tonight, I hit the bottle. Goodnight internet.

Day 2

10/26/2011

Day 2

                Well today started off rather hazed. I wanted to initially wake up, get to work on looking for work and go to my former job to pick up my last paycheck since as noted before I do not have a job before. As you probably already noticed, even though I have an Associates Degree of Graphic Design, I do not have a job in graphic design. I have had my degree since December and I have been looking for work furiously however I haven’t been able to land a job. It is because of this why I had to work at Jbs and Swift, A case ready meat packaging company. Of course, this does not mean that we slaughter animals. We get them pre-slaughtered and in boxes. A little bit about the company. Jbs and Swift is a huge company that handles the majority of the worlds meat industry. In the United States alone we slaughter 15,000 heads of cattle EACH DAY. Now that’s a lot of beef.  Not to say anything bad about this company, however, throughout my year of employment may I say that I was unsatisfied from day one! The infrastructure is completely wrong and I found it insulting that who have been trying to do everything right for my whole life, pay my taxes, drive safely, don’t brake laws, don’t do drugs and go to college. I have tried to be a real model citizen, yet I see that people who do the opposite get better things in life. They have  parents who love them, who take care of them, who pay for them, and they go and work at jbs without a care in the world. My problem? They don’t like their jobs, they do horrible and they go to work drunk and high yet they still get paid more then me ?  I don’t understand this company. Not just that, but they are all high school drop outs! And they don’t even go to college nor can they even speak English correctly? I DON’T UNDERSTAND. ITS THEIR PRIMARY LANGUAGE! Yet, this company supports this, because I someone who goes to work and although I don’t like it I still put on a smile and work my fingers to the bone every day, as hard as I can and I get nothing for it. I even have a degree from college and the girl who works a machine behind my own which requires no work at all ( the company does this because women want to run machines to get paid more, yet they don’t want to actually work hard) does not speak English and barely got citizenship for this lovely country last year and gets paid more than me?!?!?! I don’t understand it, I have had my degree longer than she has been in this country and she gets paid more to do less? It is just insulting. She literally just stands there all day, her job is to stare at plates and replace a roll of labels when it runs out ( usually done twice a day. A labor that takes 1 minute to do) yet she messes up and takes a whole 20 minutes to do it. None the less, I say I am a model employee, I take my 10 minute brakes and 30 minute lunch periods and I am back at my station on time. She comes in from break 10 minutes late and lunch roughly 15 minutes late. If I am even a second late I get written up, but her, she comes in this late every day and nothing ever happens. I bring this up to my hr representative, and they say they will speak to my supervisor and he does nothing. This is proof that the company supports this kind of work ethic, the bad kind and it disgusts me. Although I am in a dire situation with bills to pay and school debt stacking up, I am glad I lost my job so I wont have to deal with this ever again. Now back to my day. I managed to wake up late, I took care of my girlfriends iguanas and took a shower, got breakfast and headed out to work to pick up my final pay check. I am now at home doing mountains of homework while trying to file for unemployment. I say I wish to one day create my company, I don’t know where to start. Right now I just need to focus on finding a job. So I have to do that. On the mean time, I want to start by writing the story to a machinima series using halo reach, a popular xbox 360 video game which has inspired me to want to keep working at my life goal. Tomorrow is another day, lets see how that goes. Hopefully I can find a job, I need to reduce my debt and get out of this whole. I don’t know who is reading this, but if you care and want to lend me a hand and help me find work to do so. I will be forever indebted to you. Lets go internet, we need to do this!